Repentance
I’ve been following my daily Bible reading program recently and it has been such a blessing for me. I used to read through the Bible more in a random fashion before, but I think having a systematic plan of Bible reading each day has given me more focus and helped me to be more consistent in the habit.
Well, I am going through the book of I Samuel right now from the Old Testament. And it talks about the reign of King Saul over Israel. Saul was an ungodly king who did not fear God. And in chapter 15, we find that Samuel rebukes Saul for his disobedience against God’s commands. I found there are a few things that I could learn from Saul from this chapter on the subject of repentance. But it wasn’t so much a lesson on how to repent as it is a lesson in how not to repent. There are three ways that I find this passage is teaching me about the difference between true repentance versus false repentance:
1. Saul did not acknowledge that ultimately his sin is against God, and God alone.
Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.” (I Samuel 15:24)
At first glance, it appears as if Saul had a genuine repentance. He confessed that he has sinned. But upon a second reading, though, I noticed that he didn’t just say that he sinned against God only, but also against Samuel’s words. Now, I was pondering, why did he say that? Why did he say he sinned against Samuel’s words? I mean, his response was far different from David’s confession when David prayed in brokenness to God and acknowledged, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.” (Psalm 51:4) David understood that ultimately it was against God’s law that he has transgressed. It was not men’s words against whom he has offended, but God. It was God’s commands.
Well, I believe that Saul said what he did because he knew that Samuel was angry with him. He knew that he had lost favor in Samuel’s eyes. And in trying to regain his favor, he unsuccessfuly attempted to appeal to Samuel’s vanity and manipulatively by saying he has transgressed against Samuel’s words, implying that they are on equal authority with God’s commands.
2. Saul did not acknowledge only God has power to forgive sins.
“Now therefore, please pardon my sin and return with me that I may worship the Lord.” (I Sam. 15:25)
Saul was asking Samuel for pardon as if Samuel can pardon his sin. Yet, it was God alone Whom Saul had sinned, and only God ultimately has the power to pardon sins. But Saul did not come to God first and foremost. Instead of kneeling before the holy God in private and in heartfelt contrition over his sin, Saul went to Samuel. I think that, likewise, sometimes we do the same thing when we are more concerned about reconciling with men than we are with God. We make peace with the church and ministers. And we regain favor in their eyes. Or we make peace with our neighbors and friends. But we do not make peace with God, unto Whom we ultimately sin against. And by this, Saul shows that his is not a true repentance.
3. Saul was grieved not because of his sin, but only for of its consequences.
Then he said, “I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may bow before the Lord your God.” (I Sam. 15:30)
This is a sign of hypocrisy. Saul wanted to look good before the people of Israel despite having failed in leading them according to God’s will. Thomas Watson is one of my favorite Puritan writers and he said it so aptly when he describes true repentance: “Godly sorrow shows itself to be ingenuous because when a Christian knows that he is out of the gun-shot of hell and shall never be damned, yet still he grieves for sinning against that free grace which has pardoned him.”
Here we find that Saul didn’t seem to grieve over his sin. He was more concerned at how the Israelites would perceive him. He wanted to look good before the people of Israel by having Samuel in his presence, because Samuel’s absence would’ve been a sign of God’s disfavor toward Saul before the people. He wanted the prophet of God, Samuel, to assist him in public thanksgiving before the Israelites for the victory against the Amalekites. He did not want the Israelites to think that the God of Samuel had left him. So even after having sinned, he was more concerned with his own public image than he was with his private image before almighty God. He grieved over his public image more than the fact that he has seriously offended God.
There was no sign of tearful repentance on Saul’s part. There is no brokenness over his sin. I love the following quote by Thomas Watson when he makes this analogy between true repentance vs. false repentance:
Faith lives in a broken heart. He cried out with tears, “Lord, I believe.” True faith is always in a heart bruised for sin. They, therefore, whose hearts were never touched for sin, have no faith. If a physician should tell us there was a herb that would help us against all infections, but it always grows in a watery place; if we should see a herb like it in colour, leaf, smell, blossom, but growing upon a rock, we should conclude that it was the wrong herb. So saving faith always grows in a heart humbled for sin, in a weeping eye and a tearful conscience.
Lord, please grant us a true faith. Please grant me a contrite heart that is broken over my sins. Help me to truly hate my sins. Help me to view sin the way You do in all of its heinousness. Help me to have a hatred for sin, a dread of sin, and a love for holiness.
April 19th, 2007 at 4:07 am | Permalink
Hi Jessica,
It’s truly a wonderful record on Saul here! My teacher always says the Bible will not record anything unimportant and the fact that the writer wrote Saul disobediences only signifies David’s obedience to God.
Where Saul failed to have true repentance, David did. It always breaks my heart reading David’s lines, “Against you, against you only I have sinned…” Where Saul always sought the approval of men, David was the only person in the Bible called ‘a man after God’s own heart’. Even the contrast of their physical appearance was stark. And it was not for vain that the book of Samuel kept saying, “God looks at the heart”.
I love that quote from Thomas Watson, “Faith lives in a broken heart.” How many times our heart are broken for anything but our sins…=) Thanks for this post, Jessica!
April 20th, 2007 at 7:06 pm | Permalink
Hi Grace,
Thanks for visiting.
So glad you took the time to comment. You are so encouraging and edifying! Thank you. 
I love that quote by Thomas Watson, too… I love the last sentence in particular: “So saving faith always grows in a heart humbled for sin, in a weeping eye and a tearful conscience.” It’s so memorable for me.
Yes, I agree with you about David’s words “Against You, You only, have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4). It touches me, too. Psalm 51 is probably my favorite Psalm by David. It is so comforting and encouraging for me. It’s one of the most beautiful psalms ever written and just such an honest reflection before God.
Thanks again, Grace, for your kind note. It was so nice to read your comment!
April 23rd, 2007 at 9:38 pm | Permalink
My first time to comment here. Excellent thoughts on Saul. I think you stated it so well, Jessica. Saul is a tragic figure in the Old Testament. How different David’s repentance was! Thanks for an excellent study on Saul.
God Bless,
Randy
April 24th, 2007 at 6:55 pm | Permalink
Hi Pastor Randy,
Oh wow, thanks so much for your visit to my blog and for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. It was so encouraging to read your note.
I just visited your blog as well. It appears that it’s not comment-enabled for now. But I wanted to say that I’ve enjoyed reading your blog as well. I like what you wrote in regards to “Salvation and Human Choice”:
There’s so much to learn from your blog and I’ve added your site into my blogroll so I could visit again. (Thank you for having added my blog to your blogroll…I actually feel truly humbled and honored that you would do that.)
Thanks again for your comment. May God continue to bless you.
Jessica
April 24th, 2007 at 8:42 pm | Permalink
Hi Jessica, I am honored as well that you included mine on your site and thank you for your comments and for putting me on your blogroll. You have a very impressive blog. I am going to experiment soon with comments on my blog. May God bless! Randy
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:08 pm | Permalink
Hi…Jesica,
I am laura and I am Indonesian. So glad to know you and read your writing, wonderful thought. I think Saul could not be able anymore to acknowledge his sins as a disobedience action to God because God`s Spirit had left him. The opposite view of David` repentance of his sins to God.
Secondly, you have been such an encourager for me to read the books of Charles Spurgeon, excellent books. I am so blessed for sharing your thought how Saul repented his sins to men but not to God because the spirit of God had left him. Have a good day and keep your writing.
God bless
laura
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:34 pm | Permalink
Hi Laura, wow, thanks for the comment! Guess what? I was born in Indonesia myself.
Specifically in Jakarta. Apa kabar? 
I can also still speak Indonesian fluently.
You wrote:
I love what you wrote above. That’s so true. Thanks for reminding that true repentance indeed can only come from God and borne of Him, not of ourselves. And the great thing about it is, we cannot receive any glory for that. Whatever fruits we produce as a Christian after our repentance will not glorify our will. It would honor only God, because it is His work in us.
Well, I’m so happy to read your comment today. Nice to know another fellow Indonesian.
Hope I’ll get to talk to you again more… God bless you. 
May 3rd, 2007 at 4:21 pm | Permalink
Dear Jessica,
Kabar baik tentunya. I had read your profile and found that you was born in Inodesia. Saya ada di Houston sedang berusaha ambil “License Nurse”. I had been working as a nurse in Jakarta for 19 years specifically di Rumah Sakit UKI (Universitas Kristen INdonesia). I am so blessed God brought me to this dreamed country when I had prayed fervently for that since 2000. I arrived here in Houston last December 2005. Saya masih struggle dengan Bahasa Inggris jadi kamu harap maklum ya kalau ada yang kurang benar di sana sini. Di jakarta dulu dimana tinggalnya Jessica???
I proud of you especially of your fascinating biblical thoughts. I beleive Bible is your most pavourite book, right?? I hope you could be a good example for young generations like you.
We need to pray faithfully for Indonesia. I know the eyes of God are forwading to Indonesia nowadays. God is working in Indonesia miraclelly, to open the eyes of the losts so that they trully know that Jesus is the Lord.
GOd bless you
Laura
Okay…
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:03 pm | Permalink
Hello Laura, thanks for writing again.
I am so glad to hear from you. Bahasa Inggris kamu bagus koq, saya bisa mengerti dengan baik. I used to live in Jakarta Pusat. How do you like living in Houston so far? Kenal banyak orang Indonesia gak di sana?
By the way, I just sent you an email if you’d like to talk more, so please feel free to write me there also if you like. And we can write each other in Indonesian also (while at the same time I practice my poor Indonesian language skills). heh-heh
Thanks for being so encouraging. Talk to you again soon, Laura… God bless you.
May 10th, 2007 at 9:53 pm | Permalink
Pagi ini aku dapat dua hadiah dari Jessica. Johann Pachelbel dan Indonesian section di pilgrimprogress.net. This little lady (err.. how tall are you by the way?) is amazingly used by the Lord! Did you by any chance read my entry in your guestbook, what a coincidence then ;)?!?
Jess, relax about the language ;). Your writing is just perfect! I am not talking about the writing style (although it’s good, too), but about the article which suits this blog. About a woman written by a woman, about PROVERBS 31! Nothing tops that! I’ve been to one linked to your blog, but to read it in Indonesian would be a lot edifying for the Indonesian readers. Thank God for a gifted writer here!
And be rest assured that the first thing is to do is having the materials online and God will surely help directing those in need of those writings!
Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!
May 15th, 2007 at 5:21 am | Permalink
Hi Jessica,
Your daily Bible-reading somehow reminds me of a ‘technique’ for devotional times called Lectio Divina. Have you heard of it? Three blogs whom I visit often speaks volume about this.
Ev. Jeffrey Siauw (one of the Indonesian bloggers) once wrote that article. I find it very interesting because often we care more about reading as many as possible from our Bible, thinking the more we read the more we’ll know. But Lectio Divina teaches us something else.
Ev. Ronald Oroh’s credo in his blog is also “Think & Meditate”, I find it very deep because the world we live in nowadays praise the worth of being the fastest, we praise everything that can be done instantly. When we’re in pain we pray to God to take it away as soon as possible and lose the whole meaning of why it is allowed to enter our life in the first place. In Ev. Agus Sadewa’s term in his blog, a quick-fix.
OK enough of this for today, we’ll continue later and right now it’s my Lectio Divina time to think and meditate so that I won’t pursue the quick-fix this world offers
May 15th, 2007 at 1:24 pm | Permalink
Hi Grace, actually I’ve not heard of the details of it, so I’m very glad you e-mailed me about it… Thanks! I would like to read the article you sent me more carefully. It looks very helpful. Thanks again, sis!