What a Godly Man Looks Like
While surfing through a page for young ladies, I found the following piece of writing by Kathy Gruben. I thought it was a good article, and though I don’t necessarily agree with every jot & tittle (and since not every single description is universally applicable to every Christian man in every culture), I think the principle behind it is noteworthy. 
What a Godly Man Should Look Like
by Kathy Gruben
“I would use these words to describe this wonderful man of virtue….
Noble, chivalrous, courageous, fun, true, wise, loyal, passionate, protector, gentle, humble, strong, self-sacrificial, adventurous, patient, loving, kind, serving, intelligent, polite, family centered, lover of truth, steeped in the Word of God, prayerful and hospitable.
These are not the kind of guys that you always notice first in a crowd. But they are the ones that you admire most once you do notice them. They are the ones who go to the person sitting on the side of the church looking left out, and shake hands with a smile. They are the ones that you will find at home instead of in youth group. You will see them sitting with their folks rather than passing notes in the back of church with their friends. You will find them helping in the kitchen or taking out the trash, walking the ladies to their cars and carrying diaper bags even if they don’t belong to them.
You’ll find them with other guys, in deep discussions about theology, worldview philosophies, politics, and books rather than just talking about the latest football games, computer games and girls. Yet, they can converse on these topics too when needed. :) These are the guys who walk on the outside of the sidewalk to protect the lady whom they might be with, and are always watching for ways to take care of her as a sister. When looking for a mate, they want the one who is at home (or wants to be) and “hangs out” with her mom and siblings more than her buddies.
They love a good time, but it usually entails sword fighting, ultimate Frisbee, board games, hiking, touch football, night tag, water balloon fights and G rated movies rather than sports teams, dancing at the bar or movies with violence and sex-who cares if they are in their 20’s! A big night on the town includes taking the siblings to the grocery store, the library or out for miniature golf. They are passionate about the things of God and they do not bend on their convictions, no matter what others may say or do. They don’t care that some might see them as “goody-goody” or strange for not dating or for spending so much time with their family–they are proud of it!
You might see them on the road at 6:30am rushing to get to a 7:00am catechism class, even though no one is making him go. You will find them in family worship, singing or playing the piano, teaching God’s word to his family or sitting at his fathers feet. They write marvelous heart felt letters of encouragement when needed and yet might not say too much by way of personal stuff to many. They keep confidences. You might easily see him with a crowd of little ones about him as he helps to teach them something or play with them. He will watch an old movie and play cards with his siblings or parents, even when he would rather be playing “Stronghold Crusader” on his laptop.
He would give up his very life for his savior, his ideals and his family. He makes ice cream floats of all kinds - even strange concoctions - and gives his mom tea in bed. He bakes birthday cakes for his friends with his sister’s recipes. He learns to follow a recipe and make things in the crock-pot because he wants to be able to at least take care of his wife when the baby comes. You are likely to find him under a car, on top of a roof, mowing a lawn, mending the fence, writing a book, working the night shift to help the family - anywhere that will require hard work, initiative and drive - but not for his own sake.
They are so admired and dearly loved by their families because they are an indispensable source of joy and encouragement, strength of character and servitude. They are never truly independent, because they have come to that wonderful place in the Christian life where they realize, that they must be dependent on God alone in His sovereignty, and the people that He has placed in his life.
Therefore, he is a true man’s man. A giant. One to look up to. A hero. A leader among his peers. Strong, steady, dependable and one that you could place your life and the lives of your children into his capable and loving hands - with no regrets or fears.”
~ by Kathy Gruben, 2006
December 29th, 2007 at 6:55 pm | Permalink
Princess,
I think a man like this is not just found, that is why if we try to find them, it’s very likely we will find none. Just like a what godly woman is about. They’re not found, they’re built and transformed by God from the ungodly woman every where.
I like Kathy’s description because it pictures what any man can be in the hands of God. But we need to remember not to hope for such man to appear in our life just like that, but rather to help our men to be like that. May God help us =)
December 31st, 2007 at 9:09 am | Permalink
The only quibble I might have about this description is that such a man does not exist. One thing that concerns me greatly is that young women often have an ideal picture of the man they want. Then, if even one or two things don’t measure up, there can be no grace. Understand that if a young lady met such a man as described here, she should secure him without any further delay! All I am saying here is that it is vitally important that GRACE be a part of any such relationship. Also, she could wait quite a long while before she met such a man. It might be more profitable to prioritize the things that are really important, and then be willing to give ground on some of the less important things.
December 31st, 2007 at 4:47 pm | Permalink
Pastor Lane wrote:
Amen!
I can see why it would appear that the enumeration of such points would seem to indicate that these desirable traits were being made into stark necessities, so I very much like your point (and do agree with you)… thanks for your comment, Pastor Lane. On the flip side, if men were to expect perfection from us ladies, then marriage would cease to exist. 
January 1st, 2008 at 5:26 pm | Permalink
As a bachelor I admit that reading this post did knock me down a few notches on the scale of godly manhood, but maybe that’s a good thing.
We live in a time where there are innumerable forms of entertainment that are often beneficial in small doses but sometimes can distract us from what’s really important like family and service. Reading this post prompted me to do a little bit of self-examination and ask myself how do I spend my time today and how do those things prepare me for marriage. So Jessica thanks for reminding me about what’s important and also thanks to Grace and Pastor Lane for sticking up for all the bachelors out there 
Happy new year!
Jeff M.
January 1st, 2008 at 6:21 pm | Permalink
Jeff M. wrote:
Amen, brother! Reading this article caused some serious self-(re)examination in me as well. God have mercy on me for wasting so many years on fruitless endeavors.
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:58 am | Permalink
It definitely causes self-examination. Although, I would say that I probably know some men who–overall–are indeed very much like this. I think they DO exist.
But, yes, reading over that list left a few bullet holes through my facade of self-righteousness. Ouch.
Jessica, your blog looks really good… as always. Maybe we’ll talk sometime soon. I’ll be back to constant wireless (for my LAST semester) on the 16th or 17th. I hope you’re having a great New Year!
January 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm | Permalink
In Jessica’s defense, she made the same caveats that others made before she made the post:
Although, I must say that I have always been the odd man out when it comes to sports discussion. During high school, I was the guy engrossed in books and theology (although dispensational and Arminian). Also, if I were ever to be the first noticed in a crowd, it would be due to my irregularities, not my suave walk and handsome looks (because they don’t exist!).
So, Jess, if any of those qualify me in your book, all I can think is WOO HOO!
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:55 am | Permalink
I can’t help but smiling reading all the comments. Uhm… maybe it’s because of Mr. Hicks’ avatar, too
But Jess, how come we’re the only ladies so far sharing comments on this subject?
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:54 pm | Permalink
Miss Maringka,
My avatar is humorous? I wanted it to be intimidating. :p
January 4th, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Permalink
Hahaha, I wonder what Chloe would say about her Dad’s gravatar
By the way, thank you for the warm greeting at PB! 
January 5th, 2008 at 12:08 am | Permalink
If her daddy approves, she would too! :p
January 7th, 2008 at 3:25 pm | Permalink
That is one challenging post.
January 8th, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Permalink
I believe all men should be stay-at-home dads and the women should work.
Also, what’s with all you Calvinists? Ephesians 7 and Romans 17 clearly disprove this so-called “election.”
January 8th, 2008 at 1:55 pm | Permalink
January 10th, 2008 at 2:58 pm | Permalink
Adam wrote:
Ha ha ha ha
Adam, that’s hilarious. Now, I’m guessing someone might’ve looked up those supposed chapters in the Bible after reading Adam’s comment. Okay, if anyone did…write here and just admit it! Hehehe 
January 10th, 2008 at 3:06 pm | Permalink
Yeah well, I knew there were only six chapters in Ephesians, but Romans…I had to double check. Shame one me, eh?
January 10th, 2008 at 3:10 pm | Permalink
Hehehe…
January 11th, 2008 at 9:34 am | Permalink
Hi Jess,
This is the latest most beautiful story of a godly man that I have been devouring
http://www.familylife-ccc.org/articles/article_detail.asp?id=756&page=7&keywords=
January 11th, 2008 at 10:42 am | Permalink
Oops… I forgot to say, I shared the story because Ken is such an example to follow, Jess
An example for us, ladies, how a godly woman should be. Funny, how I got to learn so much about what a godly woman should be, from a man 
If one day God entrusts us with one of His (’adopted’) sons to be a sharer in the course of this earthly life, may we, Princess, love him the way God would want us to
January 11th, 2008 at 11:56 am | Permalink
Hey Michael… don’t feel bad, buddy. Just remember, in the original manuscripts, they didn’t have chapters anyway! I suppose it’s more about content than chapters, ay?
Sorry to shame everyone.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:40 pm | Permalink
That’s all right, Adam. Personally, I’ve always advocated the removal of verse identifiers. I find it irritating when sentances are broken up by verse numbers; seems to encourage “out of context” interpretation when people quote part of a sentence intstead of the whole thing.
But anyway, that’s neither here nor there.
January 11th, 2008 at 10:28 pm | Permalink
Grace, that’s a beautiful story of Ken and Joni! Very rare to hear of such stories of love and sacrifice. Yep, you’re right, us ladies definitely can learn much from his example.
Thanks for sharing the story with us! 
Have you read any of her books or biography?
January 27th, 2008 at 7:04 am | Permalink
Hey all, I got to this blog from a friend’s blog, then lead to another and so on, land on this one.
It’s an interesting article u have here.
At first I read it with smile and thinking,”Oh yeah… right…”, then,”ok, I think no such man actually exist.”
Anyway, I just wanna comment on this :
You’ll find them with other guys, in deep discussions about theology, worldview philosophies, politics, and books rather than just talking about the latest football games, computer games and girls.
What’s wrong with football games?
LOL.
Seriously, I love football and would love to be able to enjoy a game together.
And sports is good for ur health too
We have to keep the temple of God in a perfect shape, don’t we?
August 4th, 2008 at 4:52 pm | Permalink
Jessica,
Thank you for this.
Now if only I were such a man!
G.M
February 19th, 2009 at 8:22 am | Permalink
WOW! i’m always looking for anything from Pilgrim’s Progress and John Bunyan’s works; he did indeed leave so much for any and all through to these days of ours; and i came upon your site Jessica. Your discription of your concerns did cause me to stop and read more; well Praise God even more for your(needed in these days)personal identity and motion and now i see that many through you are commenting on concerns of the heart and conditions of today AND i will say; for i will boast in The Lord;that some of us men do actually have these very concerns and attitudes and do know this “struggle” is worth it to grow and maintain on the conscience level of priorities in society-especially in these days! “i” for one am one of these literally concerning individuals for if The Living Word of God is not my Measuring Rod then my opinion could rule me and my heart knows to serve God and His Way, Will, Word and Plan to my best and integral humanity-NO NO NO “religion”(of man) will not conform me; TIAM -TIAM you ask? well i use this alot;merely representing There Is Always More! So… Nice to introduce myself to someone who knows what to ask for Jessica. Take care for now;”Ya’all” others are included as well new for me to go WWW;well lets face it;i’m still wondering with the light bulb;and now all these zeros and ones lined up in what arrangements and vwalah! we have print that we can read anywhere-hey look at that even as i type…..just running with an old gag. Take care. ernie